Soles Television will be renamed to MTV Soles on June 1, 1998, and will be acquired by The MTV Company of Drewland. We are sorry for this announcement.
My favorite singer died today.
Hey, wasn't it Frank Sinatra?
My grandfather hated him.
This just in, the rebranding deal between us and MTV has recently been dropped.
Elaine's being a bigoted bitch right now.
For having no respect for people of Italian heritage, right?
I do have respect. What does "respect" mean?
You know, you have no love for Italian people.
Drew and Lorenzo do the honor of making love.
I hate you. What's Doctor Who?
Did you just say Doctor Who? I love Doctor Who.
You don't know what Doctor Who is? That's it. I'll use you with my ass.
No immature humor, this is a classy show. I'm pissed.
I'm pissed, too. Because you've got no clue what Doctor Who is.
(flashback) I'm wearing a bit thin.
His name is The Doctor and the show is Doctor Who, not Dr. Who.
Don't call me that. Disabled people might get offended, f***ot.
Elaine gets brutally slapped with a hammer by Bowser.
What do you want? Wait a second, you're that scary time traveler from Canadian Howdy Doody.
I'm not Mr. X, I'm just in his body.
Okay. What are you gonna ask me?
Mr. X lures Bowser into a dark alleyway.
I wonder where Bowser is right now.
Yes, you are. You look exactly like him.
(unmasks) I stole his identity.
Oh. What did you **** Bowser for, anyway?
Why did you impersonate Mr. X?
Since Mr. X is a police officer, follow us.
July of 1997 was fucking amazing! That gay d*go, fashion designer died!
Don't you mean Gianni Versace, Elaine?
Why? Are you homophobic and racist?
No. What do these words mean?
He was friends with Elton John and the late Princess Diana.
I said get out. You have three seconds to do that.
Fuck. I have to go to Rome.
So you're Italian now, mayor?
What are you doing to my uncle?
He's Italian, so I have to kill him.
Oh, wait. Fuck Howdy Doody.
Good. I never liked him for creating Howdy Doody, anyway.
Howdy Doody is a shitty show.
It was cancelled 8 years ago.
I know, and that's a great thing. Elaine?
You're not gonna speak? Fine.
I was a fan of the show. I wrote letters to fan clubs.
What? Just because I'm holding an Oscar statuette.
Elaine starts stabbing Howdy Doody.
Deer woman, that was a bloody thing to do!
Am I really a deer? I'm not sure.
Horseshit. I already know what I look like, but please tell me why I'm a deer.
SHIT! I'm asking someone else.
Yes. Even though you're Italian, please tell me how you know I'm a deer.
You are, dumbass? Do you hate Poles?
Of course I hate them. And I'm not a dumbass. I want to know just for once if I'm really a deer.
Elaine, I have some d*go blood in me.
And I'm a Polish-Icelandic person.
Utter bullshit. At first, he said he was a Russian spy. And now you're saying he's Polish.
That's not a reason. You're Icelandic, though.
Why? Please explain your reasoning.
Fuck. Why is Lazytown so xenophobic?
It was meant to be that way.
Blast off, bitch! (flies up to space)
Do it, because I'm half-d*go.
The Punisher shoots Stephanie.
I'll kill you when Bob Smith is cremated.
Bonjour! I am from France. Want to be friends?
Because you're French, and you're a transsexual.
Stephanie? Why are you asian?
Shi fa nie dong shing shong blur.
(Elaine shoots Stephanie)
Stephanie somehow turned Asian, so I shot her.
I'm sick of people saying it's not a reason. It is!
Elaine? Come over here. Can we be friends?
Excuse me, but how am I a deer?
You are and why are you so bigoted?
What's does the word bigoted mean?
What happened during our first encounter?
You molested me by licking my arm., when I told you not to.
That's not what I remembered.
Bill Cosby is coming to Lazytown.
Of course not. Why would Bill do something bad?
The true and honest Bill Cosby.
She accused you of being a rapist. She also accused me of being a pedophile. I'm Jimmy Savile, by the way.
Bullshit. I never assaulted anyone throughout my life.
True. I never molested a child.
No. You molested me when I was 8 years old.
I don't remember when that occurred.
Why do you think that I did something like that?