Desperate Dan (b. January 4, 1913) is a member of the Barney Bunch, as well as the gayest cowboy in the world with a 600-foot long cock. He is called Desperate Dan, because he is always desperate to rape men. You see, he originally starred in the British comic The Dandy until they kicked him out in 2007 for raping Korky the Cat and replaced him with his talentless clone (who is now a homophobe among Waternoose Incorporated). One week after he was fired from the Dandy, Dan was then encountered by Drew Pickles, who, impressed by Dan's gayness, initiated him into the Barney Bunch after having sweaty gay buttsex with him. Since he is one of the strongest and toughest members of Barney Bunch, Dan masturbates his ass using gigantic steel dildis, since ordinary dildis often break in his extremely muscular hands. He also loves to shave his pubes using a blowtorch and masturbate to the excruciating pain of the flames burning his dick. He enjoys eating "cow pies" made from the shit of male cattle mixed with Viagra, which gives him more energy for participating in gay orgies. He is also the owner and manager of Desperate Dan's Cow Pie Hut, where he bakes and sells cow shit pies to the other Barney Bunch members. His best butt-buddies are Dennis the Menace (UK version), Bubibinman, Bananaman, Roger the Dodger, Billy Whizz, and Plug from the Bash Street Kids. Sometimes, he enjoys shit-wrestling with E. Honda the Pedo-Sumo.
In 1959, CBS hired a donkey, not dan.
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