Gotta Fuck Fast!

Sonic the Dildohog
(March 12, 1976-January 18, 2017) was a member of the Barney Bunch and TAILS. As his name implies, he hogs the Dildis, and has massive orgies with Dr. Ivo "Cumman" Cockbotnik (different from Dr. Robotnik), Miles "Nails" Penor, Big the Cat, Silver the Hedgehog, Shadow the Hedgehog, and Fuckles the Echidna. His worst enemies are Sonichu and Chris-chan, for they are both very homophobic. He also hates Sanic Hegehog for some reason

Sonic's Attempted Murder

On February 19, 1996, two Germans were plotting to kill Sonic the Hedgehog because of homophobia. They hated him so much that they made a eurodance song about hating him. Luckily for Sonic, the two attempted murderers were caught just before they made it to Sonic's house, and all copies of the eurodance song "They Call Me Sonic" were confiscated and destroyed from Drewland soil. The buyers of the song were punished with being raped by Sonic, and the two attempted murderers were charged with attempted second degree murder and trespassing property. They were sentenced to 69 years in the Drewland Maximum Security Prison, and also a whole day of being raped by Sonic. He died in 2017 after getting killed by homophobic Anton Servetnik

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